


Blossom

by StarWarsFics



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, References to Depression, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-11-17 15:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18101645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarWarsFics/pseuds/StarWarsFics
Summary: What happened from the council's debate about Anakin's apprenticeship to the Naboo mission?





	1. The Padawan-Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi is dealing with the aftermath of the debate and obviously doesn't take the news well

“I will train him then. I take Anakin as my Padawan learner.” Qui-Gon blurted. It was pure impulse, he hadn’t even thought about the situation, and the slight doubt in his voice was giving him away. He just couldn’t let Anakin go. He was the chosen one, he would save them all.  
Obi-Wan was startled. He was trying hard to keep a steady composure and very tight shields around his thoughts during the discussion, but the previous sentence was highly unexpected. How could he let him down that way, without even warning him before the meeting?  
“An apprentice, you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take on a second.” Remarqued Master Yoda.  
He'd focused so much on Anakin he’d almost forgotten Obi-Wan’s existence.  
“The code forbids it.” Mace went one further. That argument was indisputable, they were both technically right.  
But Qui-Gon hadn’t said his last word yet, he’d always been stubborn, and that night was no exception. He wouldn’t let technicality waste that much talent, that much light. The order needed Anakin, even if they couldn’t see it then.  
“Obi-Wan is ready.” Said Qui-Gon, steadily. He believed in what he was saying. Obi-Wan taught him so much over all these years. He taught him patience and forgiveness, he was the light guiding him back to where he belonged. Obi-Wan had been ready for months now, but Qui-Gon couldn’t bring himself to cut the bond, it felt too comfortable, he felt like home.  
“I am ready to face the trials.” The copper-haired man hastened to say. Now wasn’t the time for arguing, not in front of the council. Not that they have anything to argue about, Master Jinn already took his decision. They had to look united, they had to if they wanted to save the boy. So, Obi-Wan kept it all to himself, tightened his shields even more in the hope of convincing the masters to give Qui-Gon what he wanted.  
“Our own council will keep on who is ready.” Retorted Master Yoda, asserting his power.  
“He is headstrong and has much to learn about the living force, but he is capable. There’s little more he can learn from me. “tried the long-haired master, a desperate move.  
“Young Skywalker’s fate will be decided later.” Master Yoda cut short. It was unusual of him, escaping a debate. The political tensions had been affecting everyone, even Yoda. He was getting tired and old.  
“Now is not the time for this. The Senate is voting for a new chancellor and Queen Amidala is returning home, which will put pressure on the federation and could widen the confrontation.” Said Master Windu, trying to redirect the exchange.  
“And draw out the Queen’s attacker” added Ki-Adi Mundi  
“Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of this dark warrior. This is the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith.” Mace continued.  
“May the force be with you.” Said Yoda. 

Now that the discussion was over, he could feel it.  
Or more precisely, he could not feel it. When he reached for the bond Obi and he shared, all he could see was a dark abyss looking back at him. Emptiness. He possibly fucked up years of hard-earned trust between them, years of friendship. But he didn’t have a choice. Right? He would succeed with Ani, as he succeeded with Feemor and Obi-Wan. Both men became more powerful and wise than he could ever hope to be, and he was so proud of them. Besides, Obi-Wan supported him in his decision, he spoke up.  
Obi-Wan and Anakin bowed in front of the council, a gesture showing their deepest respect. Immediately after crossing the door, Obi-Wan started to walk faster and faster, without looking behind, where his master was.  
“Obi-Wan, wait for me!”  
No answer whatsoever. He turned left toward the gardens and disappeared, probably headed to their quarters. He had to take care of Anakin and needed time to meditate and sort this messy situation out. Maybe it was best if he let Obi-Wan alone for some time, to let him breathe. 

__

_Breathe. I can’t breathe. I … can’t breathe._  
_Was I such a bad padawan? Was I that worthless he tossed me away like some old toy? It’s Melida/Daan all over again. I shouldn’t have left the order. I should have helped him and Tahl, she was in danger. She could have died because of me. It’s my fault. I wasn’t loyal to him, he still holds a grudge. No wonder he left me, I’m basically useless, it was just the perfect moment to let me go. He stood for a child he doesn’t even know while I had to beg him for months and had to almost die for him to accept me as his apprentice. How ironical._  
Obi-Wan, devastated, went to the refresher to try to calm down and regain control over himself. He hated how Qui-Gon could get to him so easily, shake him to his core and put all his efforts in the trash and make him feel like a 13-year-old kid again.  
He looked in the mirror and almost couldn’t recognize himself. Messy hair, red contrasting with the ocean color of his eyes, shadows under his eyes. He looked like a monster. He was a monster indeed.  
_Get a hold of yourself Kenobi, you’re about to be a knight. You’re not a child, you’re not a padawan, you’re not his padawan anymore. You’re a man, act like such. He doesn’t give a shit about you, why should you give one about him? Why are you even jealous? There’s no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force._  
After managing to hold back his tears and look somehow decent, he gathered the few belongings he had: his blanket, his collection of rocks and books that weren’t Qui-Gon’s. He deliberately left the force sensitive rock his master offered him for his 13th birthday on the table. He wouldn’t need it anymore, and it could be more useful to his new padawan. When he’d taken the black rock in his hand, he had felt the warmth emanating from it, but he ignored it. Now wasn’t the time for sentimentality. “There is no patience, there is serenity” he kept repeating mentally, in the hope that all this anger and jealousy and infinite sadness would go away.  
He was on his way to the management department so that a new room could be assigned to him. He wasn’t technically a knight, nor a padawan, he was in between. A spare room would certainly be found, he wanted to escape Qui-Gon’s presence as much as possible. The hall was empty, not many Jedi came here, to tell the truth. Dim lights were framing the hall, and the rain pouring down outside created a soft rhythm. It was almost soothing, it could have been a good place to meditate.  
“Obi-Wan?” a soft voice called.  
“Bant ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credits to the real conversation at the beginning taken from TPM


	2. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain is an endless circle: past memories and most of all, consequences to all actions.

“Are you okay? I heard about what happened in the Council room. I’m very sorry Obi, it was unexpected for all of us, Qui-Gon acting like that? It wasn’t fair… Not that it’s my place to criticize your master of course. “  
They hadn’t seen each other in ages, her features slightly changed over time. She was slenderer and the marks on her face were darker than the last time they saw each other. But her ocean eyes were still the same, they still shined with kindness.

“Yeah, I’m fine Bant it’s okay. In fact, I’m about to change my quarters, so I’m more than fine. Every end is a new beginning, right? That’s what you used to say whenever I was feeling bad about losing a friend” Obi-Wan said, surer than ever.

“What? Have you even talked to Qui-Gon beforehand? “

“No, why would I? I don’t need his permission to do that, as everyone in the kriffing temple knows now I’m about to pass my trials. The code’s grey areas allow me to do that, I’m in a transitive state, so it’s negotiable,” answered Obi-Wan.

It bothered him that news traveled so quickly even though it was behind closed doors with respected council members, they were all such gossips. He felt bad for being so patronizing, that’s not how a knight should act.

“You should talk to him Obi, it’s not good to pile up emotions like that. You have every right to be angry, but you don’t want it to consume you.”  
“Thanks for the advice Bant, but I don’t want to talk about it. Ever. We had a partnership and it was about time the bond broke. Life goes on.”  
“It doesn’t have to be that heartbreaking though. You are both extremely stubborn and don’t want to give in, but eventually, you’ll have to, or it will break both of you, I don’t know if you’ll return safe and sound from that.”  
“I just want to be alone. To think, and to center myself.”

Without warning, Bant hugged Obi-Wan. She faintly smelled like seaweeds and sea salt. It was like hugging a powerful wave: startling, embracing and refreshing. She probably swam in the small lake on the temple grounds shortly before their encounter. She loved to swim, water was her preferred environment.  
He didn’t realize how much physical contact he needed before he literally sank in the embrace. Bant truly knew how to calm him down, she knew him by heart. He felt the tears coming up again, partly from the intense pain Qui-Gon provoked but mostly from the relief she offered him.  
“I know we haven’t seen each other for a long time, it was crazy around here. But I am here for you. Always. Come and see me at any hours, day or night and we can speak about whatever you want while having some tea and homemade cookies, your favourite. Or call me. Reach out with the force. Anything, but don’t let yourself die out. You deserve attention, and mostly your own attention, you must take care of yourself Obi. Besides, a lot of people care about you, and master Jinn above anyone else. Promise me you will not shut yourself off. “  
“I… I promise.” He answered, unsettled, his eyes looking down for a moment. “I really have to go now, I am exhausted. Take care of yourself and thank you for being such a good friend. By the way, congratulations Knight Eerin, we definitely have to celebrate your success!” he said cheerfully, smiling for the first time in ages.  
She smiled back and headed to the gardens. 

Obi finally reached the housing office and talked to Knight Valara. He negotiated for quite a long time but managed to convince her of assigning him a spare room on the fifth floor. He was lucky, the room offered a breathtaking view of the gardens. It was a perfect setting for his upcoming meditation sessions. He needed it, bad. He entered the small space, just big enough for him to set his few belongings. The bed wasn’t so bad, he placed the rocks he collected on every new planet he visited on the shelf. There wasn’t any space left for the books, so he put some of them on his nightstand, and put the rest in a box he found. He would need to fix a bigger shelf. But later. Now was the time to look back on what happened and relax in his own space. 

He took off the upper part of his robes and his boots and settled down on the carpet, legs crossed. Obi-Wan took deep breaths and focused on his heartbeat. Boom Boom. Boom Boom. Boom Boom.  
He reached out to the force and could feel the soft fabric beneath his bare feet. The faint breeze coming from the slightly opened window on his skin, the petrichor smell, ever so soothing. He could hear distant discussions of undisturbed knights in the gardens, seated on oak benches. Babies sleeping in the creche, so innocent, so pure beings. He envied them, he wished he could go back to simpler times when his bigger problem was to choose which book he wanted to read. 

_Time to think Kenobi, what’s your plan?  
What I said to Bant was true, it was bound to happen, I couldn’t be his padawan forever. Not that I would have complained. Urh what is wrong with you? Why would you even think that? Focus. Breathe. What is bothering isn’t the knighting, it’s his motivations. He didn’t do that for me, but for his newest toy. He is obnubilated by him, the boy’s power blinds him so much he can’t see the potential danger he is carrying. Of course, forsaking him wouldn’t be right, he would be even more dangerous in the wrong hands, but I don’t think this is the best setting for him. He is too old to truly adapt to the order. On the other hand, he is innocent. He is just a boy after all, who didn’t ask to be a slave, didn’t ask to meet two space wizards that took him away from his mother. It’s tragic, his existence from the beginning has been tragic and being in the care of the order will certainly not improve anything with the troubled times that awaits us all. The least bad choice then. That’s what Qui-Gon did. Leaving him to slavery would have meant endless suffering for Anakin, maybe someone else with worse intentions could have found him and Force knows what power the chosen one truly holds. And of course, it would also have meant a waste of innate capacities. It’s selfish of me to be jealous and angry, the boy doesn’t deserve this treatment, he suffered enough. Which is why I must be the bigger one and accept this transition, I don’t have another choice anyway, either I sink, drifting in my sadness or I get past this and get what I always wanted. I don’t need his help anymore. I will be a good knight, at least I'll try my best. There is no try, Yoda would have said. Okay then. I will be a great knight. As great as Qui-Gon._

 

_“That’s not a behavior worthy of a Jedi Xanatos, mind your feelings. ”  
“Yeah, whose fault is that master Jinn? You and Yoda tricked me. You brang me back to my family so that I would never become a Jedi. You killed my father you monster! I HATE YOU! “ Blood. Shouts. Yellow eyes. Anger. Darkness. _

“Qui-Gon Sir, are you okay ?” Anakin's voice reached his ears and brang him back to reality. They had been trying a small meditation session themselves to improve their focus. It didn’t work well, obviously. He’d been haunted by old wounds the entire time, he hoped to relax but it was utterly impossible. He couldn’t center himself. He couldn’t reach for Obi-Wan. He was lost. The sweat was gluing his hair to his temples, and his heart beat way too fast. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. 

“Yes Anakin, I’m fine. Were you able to relax?”  
“No Sir, I was thinking about my mother the entire time. I wonder if she’s okay. I am scared.”  
“Reach out to the force Anakin, and you will be able to sense if she’s okay or not. You’ve had a very close relationship with her, she was with you your entire life. You will be able to sense her, even if she’s far away.”  
“I… I think she is okay. She is sleeping.”  
“There you go, she isn't in any danger now. Relax. It’s time to go back to crèche. The crechemasters will begin to worry...”  
“I don’t like it there. I don’t have any friends. They all look at me like I have a second head growing.”  
It broke Qui-Gon’s heart. Anakin would be on the spotlight for the rest of his life, and this was just the beginning. Had he taken the right decision?  
“Wait, I can see something under your ear though… It looks like a nose to me ... “  
“Stop it Qui-Gon! I mean Sir. I mean Master.”  
“Qui-Gon is fine Anakin. No need to be so formal, let’s go now. You will get used to it and make friends in no time, and meanwhile, you have the plushie Feemor offered you! We’ll see each other tomorrow, I promise.” 

He was exhausted. The debate with the council, his relationship with Obi-Wan shattering, Anakin’s loneliness. He wasn’t sure he could manage all of it. How did Dooku manage to control everything? The man never broke down, still a complete mystery. Now, time to finally go back to his copper-haired Padawan. They would talk, surely he would understand him, and maybe even forgive him after some time, who knows… 

No lights were on in the quarters. It was unusual, normally at this hour Obi reads books on the sofa, or watches a holomovie.  
“Obi-Wan? Are you there? I hope it’s not one of your tricks again, I don’t think I have any patience left after this evening. Obi-Wan ?”  
No answer. Was he that upset? Or maybe he was just sleeping, it’s been hard for him as well.  
Just to be sure, he slowly headed to Obi-Wan’s room. He couldn’t feel his presence, but the bond was severed after all and Obi was good at shielding. He pushed carefully the door and looked at the bed.  
No one. No books. No robes. Nothing. Just an empty bed. 

_"Oh no. Not again. I can’t lose one more padawan, my heart can’t take it. Shit... What have I done? "_

With a hasty breath and teary eyes, he went quickly back to the living room. He watched around, not sure what he was supposed to find, but he felt something force sensitive.  
“Obi-Wan ?”  
He turned his head and looked down.  
The stone he gave him for his 13th birthday. He left one thing behind after all. His hands were shaking, so much that he had trouble holding the stone. He couldn’t move either breathe, it’s as if someone was crushing his chest and choking him. He felt like dying.  
He rolled himself into a ball on the red sofa, the stone still in his shaky hands. The very sofa where they ate so many meals, read so many books, laughed at so many of his terrible puns. And finally, he let go. He cried, like he never did before, not even for Xanatos.  
_No Obi… Please come back… Can you hear me? Padawan ?!_  
The bond wasn’t back, he talked to the emptiness. The gloomy abyss, absorbing his voice and only returning loneliness and heartbreak.  
He had to find him. He needed his bright light.


	3. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Jedi facing another.

Qui-Gon didn’t sleep one bit that night. He had been tormented by visions of war, Jedi decimated by hundreds of thousands. Yellow eyes. Red and darkness together smothering the living force, numbing all feelings.  
And Obi-Wan. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the 13-year-old begging him to be his master. Begging him to save him. He should maybe mention the visions to Yoda. Even if he doubted them more than Obi-Wan did, he still should know, he was the leading master of the Jedi Order after all.

Obi-Wan chose to leave, and he couldn’t be mad with him. Taking Anakin under his wing had been his decision, and consequences had come with it. He had to get over it, as he did with Xanatos. The main focus should be Anakin. He was new to the order, he needed to help him adjust to his environment and most of all, Qui needed to train him right. He would start by the basics, of course, teaching him how to read and write, the code and Jedi ways. Then move to basic katas and of course piloting, Ani was already incredibly gifted in that domain. Qui-Gon knew his new padawan would be fine, he had to be fine because he was the chosen one. He knew it in his heart, Anakin’s force signature radiated with life, raw power and a promise of hope. The force sang around him, he never saw something so compelling. The others will see that too, with some time. 

After that horrible night, he went out on his way to pick Ani from the creche and attend to his duties. 

“Hello, Master Jinn. You look exhausted.” said a deep muffled voice. 

“Greetings Master Koon. I’m alright, just the exhaustion of endless debates with the council, you know how trying they are,” replied Qui-Gon, calmly. 

“Ha, yes of course. I just ran into Obi-Wan, he was teaching meditation classes. All the children were very focused, it is surprising that such a young Jedi is able to captivate attention and have authority amongst younglings. In any case, this is auspicious.” remarked Master Plo. 

“Obi-Wan is very capable. He will make a great Jedi Knight, and I hope the council will be able to see that, regardless of my choice to keep Anakin or not. He is an impressive padawan.” He answered.  
Qui was so proud of his padawan-not-padawan. This was the start of an incredible career and only a glimpse of his capacities. 

“Indeed. The council will take that into account and hear him out. Have a nice day Qui-Gon.”  
“Thank you Plo, I appreciate it.”  
By talking to Master Koon, Qui changed his mind. He would take a short detour and see Obi-Wan, it was high time they talked.

He stopped at the entrance of the inner gardens. What he saw took his breath away. Obi-Wan was towering over the children, in meditation. The younglings were facing him, imitating their teacher, all breathing in and out at the same time, gathering the force around them. The sound of the fountain on their left created a steady rhythm, in symbiosis with the group’s effort. So harmonious, so peaceful, no wonder Obi chose this place. Sunbeams were crossing the stained glasses, forming dancing colors on Obi’s face. They highlighted his slender features and revealed blonde reflects on his copper hair. His braid was still here, but it would be gone soon.  
The boy-man- was capable of convincing the most stubborn kings and queens, equally talented when it came to combat and yet ever so kind with the tiny apprentices surrounding him. One of the most talented Jedi in the order, no doubt.  


All of a sudden, a vision stroke him: he saw an old man, older than he is now, meditating in the middle of the desert. He couldn’t recognize him. Whitebeard and short white hair. Peaceful and full of the force, but a terrible sadness surrounding him. The unknown man opened his eyes, they were deep ocean blue, staring at him in astonishment. “Master?” 

“Master ?” A distant voice called.  
“Uh… Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb the class. Please continue, don’t mind me.” answered Qui-Gon hurriedly.  
“It’s no worry, the class was over anyway. Thank you for your attention younglings, it was a very pleasing time we shared. If you have any question please solicit Master Nu, I will not be around for the next class”, he addressed to his students. They all looked disappointed by hearing the news.  
Eventually, all the children left in small groups, leaving them all alone in Obi-Wan’s most cherished place.  
“We need to talk.”  
“Yes, we most certainly do Master Jinn. How do you plan the Naboo mission? I was thinking of putting…”  
“I wasn’t talking about that subject padawan. I meant to talk about what happened in the council chambers.”  
It surprised Obi-Wan. He didn’t feel the need to deal with that matter, because it was over, he wanted to bury the subject and hoped to forget it.  
“Oh. But there is nothing to talk about. You’ve chosen another padawan, the council will end up agreeing, because they know how stubborn you are. Even though I would have liked you not to defy the council, it remains your decision and I respect it. What is up to me is my reaction, and even if it was - is - hard, I accept it, Master. It’s fine. I’m only sad you didn’t trust me enough to talk about your decision with me beforehand. But it’s not good to dwell on the past. I just hope I was good enough for you because it would break my heart to be a disappointment. Not to the order mind you, but to you. I hope you enjoyed our apprenticeship as much as I did. Despite everything, I’m glad I insisted on being your padawan because I would have missed out wonderful things.”  
It wrenched Qui-Gon’s heart. The same crushing feeling on his chest and the suffocation accompanying it when he found out Obi left the quarters. He lost the little control he had and let the tears stream down his face. How could a person that went over so many trials be so forgiving, so humble, so bright?  
“I… I’m so sorry Obi. I’m sorry I failed you. I didn’t mean to make you sad, it’s the last thing I want. But this is the time. The prophecy finally realizes itself. I know you are skeptical because you are more in tune with the unifying force, but one day you will understand my Obi-Wan. And you were enough. More than enough padawan, you saved me from myself, many times, and I can’t thank you enough for being so loyal and trusting. You taught me way more than I did. Thank the force it made me cross your path. Thank the force it gave me a bright light like you.”  
They finally hugged: the grounding steadiness of the earth in Obi-Wan’s force signature meeting the vivid storm of Qui’s one. A ship getting engulfed in a troubled sea. Blue lights intertwining with green shades. There was no need for words, they understood each other again.  
"Master, not to break the moment but you're smothering me."  
"It's only because I missed you so very much little one."  
"I'm not that tiny anymore."  
"I know, let me enjoy this a little more."

They both knew it would be hard to forge a new bond, one that would have different bases. It would be built on a foot of equality, a bond between one respected knight and a master. Nonetheless, they went through that many times in the past, the bond had been severed multiple times in their apprenticeship, on Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon’s blame. This would be different, a new kind of trust. That’s what made them an outstanding pair: despite all of their differences, they always tried to make it work and pushed the other to their best. Not the easiest path in an apprenticeship, but Jedi seldom chose the easiest way out. The upcoming mission to Naboo will give them an opportunity to try this new promise of a bond.


	4. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A master disappeared. Another blossomed.

Force, how did they end up in this situation? It was totally out of their control, Obi-Wan thought. The tension was at its highest - Gungans were fighting against the Separatist droid army, Queen Amidala was still in terrible danger; and on top of that, they had to worry about Anakin’s safety. There was no way they could get out of here without casualties.   
He had a dreadful feeling about this situation. The same feeling he had with Qui-Gon, elusive back then, on his last mission with the trade federation.   
The Queen, her guards, and the two Jedi moved forward in the hangar. 

“Hey wait for me!” shouted Anakin from his starfighter.   
“Stay where you are, you’ll be safe here” Qui-Gon answered.   
“But I…” Anakin tried to argue.   
“Stay in that cockpit” the Master ordered. When he used that firm tone, replying was impossible, Obi-Wan had years of experience behind him to know that. And Anakin knew better than to confront him.  
Suddenly, the door opened. He expected something frightful, but not as much as what he saw in front of him.   
A tall Zabrak, red and covered with black tattoos. His eyes were the worst part of his monstrous body. Eyes as yellow as the twin suns on Tatooine, surrounded by angry red circles. He was as silent as death. 

Qui-Gon had been taken by surprise. It was the same red and yellow he saw in his visions. The same feeling of suffocation of the living force around him. The Sith was facing him, and for the first time in years, he was scared. Scared that he would fail, or worse, that something would happen to one of his apprentices. Getting out of his bewilderment, he focused on the moment to choose his next move. The most important thing now was to protect the Queen. Luckily, despite her young age, she was not easily scared.   
“We’ll handle this” Qui said, as certain of himself as possible.   
“We’ll take the long way” followed Queen Amidala. 

Loud sounds were surrounding the two Jedi, probably blasters, and Separatist droids. They also heard Anakin and R2 on the background, but the sounds became faint. Their entire focus was on the man in front of them. It was hard to judge his true potential, as his shields were exceptionally tight. He looked angry and determined as if he had expected this moment all his life. The Sith ignited his double-ended lightsaber. The Master and soon-to-be-Knight imitated him.   
Master and Apprentice have truly connected once again. They felt each other in the Force. Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan’s determination to defeat the Sith, and Obi-Wan on his side felt Qui’s fleeting worry. Obi-Wan leaped behind the Sith, and Qui engaged from the front side.   
The Zabrak turned from one side to another, clashing with green and blue lights. He moved forward in the hangar, kicking the tall man and the copper-haired alternately. The smaller one tried to keep up with his master, who was attacking with full-force. He slightly misjudged him, the Jedi was old but strong. It was a risky move, but he tried to narrow the fighting space between him and the two Jedi scum. He leaped on a circular platform and then on a narrow alley. Good, he was getting what he wanted. Full of hatred, he kept facing them. 

Why does it take so long to defeat him? Obi-Wan thought. They had the high ground, they were two strongly connected Jedi. They should have beaten him long ago. Nonetheless, feeding on his pure loathing, his enemy resisted every single strike. He certainly could sense their tiredness, his opponent couldn’t help but snarl. It enraged him.   
_Focus Obi-Wan, on the here and now, where your mind belongs.  
Yes, Master. _  
An unexpected kick sent him to the levels below. He nearly fell in the emptiness but managed to hold on.   
Oh no, this wasn’t the time to let Qui-Gon fight by himself. Obi-Wan held onto the platform and gathered his strength, then force-leaped to reach them. 

Qui-Gon didn’t wait for him to get on the offensive. He swung his lightsaber as fast and as strong as he could to get an advantage. It was the only way, as the Sith used the Vaapad fight form. He was fueled by his passion. He wasn’t very focused on where they were headed, but his strength made it hard for Maul to kill him. The latter backed down to a force-shielded alley. They activated and started humming in their red nuance.   
Perfect timing, Qui thought. This will give him time to center himself and gather his last strength. He was beyond exhausted and sweaty, so much that his hair was sticking to his face. He knelt down and closed his eyes, chasing away the vision of his opponent.   
Inhale. Exhale. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one the force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is...

Obi-Wan was behind. This wasn’t good at all. Multiple shields separated him from his Master, and this was the easiest way for Maul to defeat them. Fight them one by one. Maybe he predicted it all, feigned to be weaker and led them to the path. His master was focusing. He looked tired and broken. But this quick meditation would give him the energy his Master needed. Qui-Gon was the best fighter he knew. As strong as Master Dooku and Master Yoda. He was stubborn and tough, he would make it. The shield de-activated, and Qui-Gon attacked fiercely. It wasn’t in his usual style, but the fight wasn’t usual either. 

_Keep going Master, You will defeat him. I’m right behind you._  
He ran as fast as he could, but the last kriffing shield activated again. All he could do was watch his Master struggle with the force damned being. They were around the pit, dangerously close to falling.   
_Come on, deactivate!.._. Obi-Wan was more than impatient.   
They continued fighting to the death. Bit an abrupt move unsettled Qui-Gon. The red man kicked Qui-Gon’s head and pierced a hole through his chest.   
“NOOOO!”  
Obi-Wan thought he heard his Master shouting. But he didn’t make a sound, it was his own voice he heard.   
Filled with rage, Obi-Wan engaged in a ruthless fight. He would kill this evil creature. But caught up by his own anger, he fell in the pit with a simple force-push. By sheer luck, he hung on a small metal particle. The force was with him.  
He quieted his mind and tried to come up with an idea. Quick. The most effective move would be a force leap. In the last effort, he leaped upward and took his Master’s lightsaber in his hands. The first time he had held it was when he was barely apprenticed and hadn’t built his own lightsaber yet. Now he was the one facing the danger. His anger and hatred equaled his opponent’s. Not worthy of a Jedi, but when it came to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan had very little control of himself. He leaped behind Maul, gathered all the rage he had in him and cut through the monster’s clothes and flesh and bones. His legs disappeared in the pit, and his ugly head and torso followed shortly after. 

Without even contemplating his accomplishment, he rushed to his Master’s side. The life in him was fading, he could sense it. He gently held his head and put it on his lap. Qui-Gon instinctively held his hand.   
“Master? Master, please hold on it will be fine. Please.”  
“Too late my Padawan... Promise… Promise me you’ll train the boy… ”  
Qui-Gon’s voice was nothing but a whisper now.   
“Yes, Master.”  
He could have promised anything to make his pain go away. Anything to make him stay at his side.   
Only by his force of will, Qui-Gon reached to Obi-Wan’s face and gently stroke his cheek. This brilliant boy that had been loyal to him, that had loved him unconditionally, that tried so hard to prove himself. His legacy.   
“He is the chosen one. He…will bring balance to the force.”  
 _I love you Obi-Wan, I am so proud of you. Farewell partner._  
He was gone. Qui-Gon was gone. Something broke in Obi-Wan. A part of him disappeared in a split second. As if he could bring him back, Obi-Wan cradled his body and held him close, hugging him for the last time. He couldn’t see him anymore, the tears were blurring his sight.  
“Master? Master…”

He didn’t know how long he stood there with Qui-Gon. Minutes, hours perhaps. He waited for him to open his bright eyes and see his smug smile again, just one more time. But he didn't. He was truly gone. Despite all his emotional and physical exhaustion, Obi-Wan finally got up and carried his Master’s body to a shuttle. He couldn’t feel anything anymore. He was numb, the life left him along with his Master. 

He spent that night where he felt the safest, in Qui-Gon’s quarters. The dim lights were soothing after all the trials he went by. As soon as he entered, a hazy Force-signature called him. He followed it, and it led to the table. 

The stone he left behind him when they had argued. He never realized it, but it was imprinted with Qui-Gon’s force signature. That was when he completely lost it. He fell on his knees, smothered in his own breath and let go of all the rage, the unfairness and most of all the sadness he felt. Dark shapes were surrounding him, and he felt the anger engulfing him, but he held on to the single light he held on the palm of his hand.   
After a while, Obi-Wan climbed into the bed without undressing and wrapped himself up warmly in the sheets. It still smelled like him: green Alderaanian tea, magnolia, and vanilla. He rolled himself into a ball, holding the last remnants of his Master tightly in his fist and closed his eyes, drifting in a dreamless slumber. 

The funeral was the worst part. He had to control himself as everyone was constantly staring at him. He didn’t have any tears to shed anymore but he had to pretend he was fine and strong. Like his death hadn’t annihilated him. He didn’t know where he found that power. Obi-Wan looked down at Anakin. He had never been that silent.   
“What will happen to me now?” Anakin asked.  
“The council has granted me the permission to train you. You will be a Jedi I promise.” He heard that information first thing in the morning. It was the second promise Obi-Wan had ever made, and he intended to keep them both. Because Qui-Gon asked him to. He wasn’t able to save him, so he will carry on his will, might it kill him in return or not.   
A master disappeared. Another blossomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some parts of dialogue taken from Episode I - The Phantom Menace


End file.
